a broken heart

me=being so irresponsible towards my blog~ been having a holiday for almost a month d~ it is a great holiday, I get to have fun to the max, laughed like a crazy woman, enjoyed my Cambodia trip(I will try to blog about this trip when I am free=D), ate good food, enjoyed homecook, had fun with friends and family. Basically, the best life is being a student!

everything went so well but I guess I am not well deep down in my heart. Disappointments again and again really breaks my heart. I am not tough, I am not a tough girl, I may be a Happy Go Lucky type, but in this matter, I don't think I can handle it well. Yet, I need to try my best to be tough~ indeed it is not easy and I have no idea and unable to imagine how much pain and suffer do I need to go through.

I have tried my best.

Life is not about it only, I have many people who love me =) I must be tough!
Let fate decides, but I must be strong.
06.02.2013 is a beginning...

Pain

It will never heal

midnight talk

just after a chat on phone.... thinking at this time is indeed making myself emotional... it's my semester break, which I should enjoy to the maximum.. life in university will be hectic and stressful... yet, on this night, I can't help but to recall lots of memories, people around me and how I have spent my holiday... I miss them...am I still the happy go lucky gurl? yeah...indeed I am.. I am still spending most of the time smiling at everyone... like that there isn't a single wrongful thing in my life...everything is perfect...I can't speak out my worries or even break down to tears to anyone other than myself.. I sounded pathetic....everyone has different problems... no matter it is minor or major, there are always different ways of solving them.. I have chosen one and I need to walk through it...

yeah, it's just a random post.. I just needed to type it out to clear out my mind =)

Dying

seriously, I m worrying~~~T.T

Dying~~~~~~mentally

T.T

so much to memorize......T.T

gonna have a tough 2 weeks

想念

终于考完试了！

也玩了好几天。。。

相机的记忆卡都满了。。

这才发觉里面都是大学里一班朋友的脸蛋儿。。。

你也已渐渐的被删除。。。

我想你。。。

=D

放弃

最近除了功课，还有有些考试要面对。。。

真的忙的快喘不过气来了。。。

但，我还是有偷懒的时候。。。呵呵。。。

这么多年的感情就真的哪么容易的放弃吗？

见过了不少到路程一半就分手的例子。。。

感情就是呢么样的复杂。。。

朋友就是呢么样的虚伪。。。

值不值得信任。。。我真的不知道了。。。

不理了。。。

我相信如果你有错，就一定会有报应

对得起自己的良心就好。。。

朋友。。。不要太要好。。。

刚刚好就够了。。。

这样，心也不会呢么容易的被伤到。。。

simply

just got back to the ground..

went to Genting with 4 of my coursemates...

was suppose to join another gang of friends there on Saturday but I can't make it since I am leaving Msia by Sunday night.

so, went to a short and relaxing trip on the Fri n Sat with 4 of 'em

it's really simply and relaxing~ ll update about it soon =)

yea.. not a little gal anymore.. the previous post are about my birthday... n surely.. I feel kinda stress towards my age...>< gonna be a more mature and responsible gal

feeling kinda emotional tonight. it just happened in a very sudden. lots of things running in my mind right now. people who are important in my life seems to have gone away, leaving me one by one. well, perhaps I am thinking too much, but that's what I feel.

well, sometimes I just can't help but to feel being neglected.

feeling sad easily...

sometimes, some little action can touched my heart.. feeling very warm...

it's indeed difficult to get someone who is gonna be with you forever, someone who understands you, someone who will thought of you without a reason.

imbalance.. the word for tonight

wondering how am I going to solve this problem

is it greedy to have 2 thingys? must I have one of em only?

happiness

somehow, there's no rainbow every day...

I wonder why....

in another way, rainy days do not occur every day...

I wonder again...

there are changes in every day's weather...

it could be serene for a moment, stormy the next second...

I found the word again-innocent

I am going to make it missing again

hope it is in a lost world...

vanished...

where there are human beings, there are surely voices and sounds~

it's your decision to stop and listen

or you can just use your headphone

and continue your journey as there's nothing at all...

since the route has been chosen

be brave to continue

create the best memory to be cherished

life is decided by ourself~

sometimes, smiles on her face doesn't mean she is really happy

smiling is much more easier than crying

don't you think so ?

so, why not smile? your smile can bring happiness to people that love you^^

black

a blast of emotions flowed to her mind very sudden...perhaps life have been too smooth, hmmm...well, just on the surface. Deep down in your heart, it lies another secret. Hope that these things can be simplified.....

*Cries
when a person's 1st drop of tears come out from the right eye, it is happiness
BUT
when a person's 1st drop of tears come out from the left eye, it is pain.......

do you believe that?

ready, get set, GO !

went to watch transformer again, for the 2nd time
had a birthday celebration with J n L
I am really exhausted right now...

yeah~ I am leaving here... in a few hours time...
not going to blog so often...
going to have a really busy orientation week
wish me luck~
I m nervous !!!

I miss you all~

t-e-a-r-s

tears flowing down at sad times
tears will flow down without any reason
even though there are many friends and people who cares you by your side..
there's still time where u ll feel the loneliness
sometimes,
I love looking at the sky...
my thoughts will bring me far away, to somewhere where there's no ending
looking at the crowds,
looking at the passerby walking from here to there,
looking at the cars that pass by...
listening to songs in the middle of the night
recalling lots of memories
thinking of my life
wondering the future
I need peace...
I need silence...
I need to be alone...
I need to be quiet...

is it wrong to cry?
is it wrong to be emotion?
there's always a smile... at least it appears when I m with you
n once your back faces me... it's another story
I am scare of a smooth journey...
scare of happiness...
afraid that it will be taken away in a glance
being left in an unknown city
surrounded by lots of strangers
trying to search for you again
... nightmares will will not end till the next sunrise.....

hey~ when is the last time you cried ?

*nah.... I m not feeling sad... not now...
it's just a random post...
just have the feeling to post up =)
I rarely express my feelings here huh... ^^

incomplete

a movie when darkness came~
nothing much that I can say...
missed 70% of it~
but I guess it must be very nice~

an hour+ of tea time
found out a place at sk area where u can enjoy some iceberg~

a short evening at Feeling cafe
*gone with the wind*

pink roses with purple daisies <<<

rushing
n
seeing the emo side of choczie...
I went to bed when it greets the world~

see ya~

went KLIA on Tues morning...
tired indeed since I didn't have enough sleep...
we were there slightly earlier than Zen...
thus, hanged out at Mcd for a while...
~prices are double comparing to the normal Mcd
then...
chatted with Zen for a while before he leaves...
n photo sessions...
we took lots of photos...

Zen n his Andante~
they r very sweet indeed...^^

Ling, Vicky, Jacq n me....

with Zen~

He can make lots of funny expressions ^^

our dress code - black...
last time of hitting Zen^^
love this pic~

n before he leaves...
big hug + tears... everyone...

it's my 1st time of sending a person off at there...
n it's really very sad...
surely we r going to miss u a lot... ^^

a card for him~

lastly, had our lunch at an old place...
the food isn't nice at all >.<

weather

sunny day
memories at the beach
surrounded by laughters
dozens of smiles from you

cloudy day
sparrow in the sky
started with a few rain drops
ended with a cozy night

I will keep my promise
...desole...
...merci...
...apprecier...

210309 1838

as a chocz lover,
i m wondering about this again...
can chocz really make me happy?
there's always chocz supplement at my house~
it's kinda abnormal if u can't find a single piece of chocz here...
too many things happened recently..
those chocz seems to be useless...
but~ well~still... I m chewing one of it rite now...
my emotion is fluctuating between the smiles n tears line~
just solved 1, another 1 pops up again...
is it my fault?
wat have I done...
they said it has nothing to do with me...
but my mind is always at the negative side...
why is this happening...
feels like running away from all of it...

icE

talked 2 much...
2 much of laughters...
couple times of watery eyes...
lost of flashbacks...
2 much memories not to be forgotten...
it all happened in a nite...
in 3 hours...

just can't control myself from not being emo~

*ice*

a nite of my stupidnEss

being emo~
yeah~ tat's wat I feel 2nite..
juz home from a drink wif 3 of my old besties
(D.D n C)

found out something~
lots of things running in my mind right now...
wanna help her so much..
but how should I help..
yea, rite~ She is not wrong to have that confidence..
but it juz seems to be wrong...
hmmm...
she might b naive for having that thinking...
or she is taking it as a piece of cake~
wondering... should i speak to her..
being a busybody might ruin our friendship..
but then.. really concern towards her~
wat are friends 4?

n bcoz of that...
my mind is thinking of other stuffs...
feeling depress at this moment...
since my exam has ended...
I m never in a serious mood again...
life is just like
having fun only...
enjoying my "free" life..
i have forgotten those things...
but now... 2nite...
i m back into a moody night..
those matters r flowing back in a sudden..
everything...
worrying... scared of it..
having no confidence in it..
i wanna cry...
crying without a reason seems to b so stupid...

fInal gO~

yeah~
the day is coming~
very soon~ =)
last paper tmr morning~
it's macro paper~
n i ll gain my freedom again after 11am sharp~
haha~ cum on~ cheer 4 me !!!
hmmm~
lots of planning 4 tmr noon n also nite~
hmmm~ so i can only picked sum to enjoy~
>.< i can't b tat greedy~
can't make myself appear in different places @ de same time rite ?
so, it's gotta b a busy n tired day too~

somehow~
it's my way of releasing stress n being crazy~
staying @ home is actually like staying in "jail"...
erm~ a better "jail" larh...
cause it is much more comfortable~
er... izzit too much ?
why am i describing my house as a "jail"...
actually~ i do love my house~
but i don't like staying in it 24 hours a day~
i love it but don't like staying in it~
confusing huh ? :s
arh~ whatever~
de main point is juz---->
MUZ NOT GO HOME till i m tired =p
i m nt the type tat ll go home n sleep or have a gd rest rite after tiz crazy+stu+stressful+headache+tired+taking life exam~
am i typing too much ?
tired of reading?
yeah~ i m~
better stop now~
or else, u r going to b tired of me~
n hate me~ =.="
aikz~got to date with my books again~
last date~
i ll try to enjoy tiz date okay ?
~ last time o !!!!
yeah yeah~
wish me luck ya~

...............

................
u r making me pissed off~
am i tat untruthitude ?
told u be4~
I have my own style of doing things~
hate following ur way~
like myself being tiz way~
it is the best 4 myself~
comfortable 2 me~
I didn't fool u~
juz~
trying 2 do smthg seriously~
in another way~
worrying about it too~
putting effort in it~
nvr a praise~
but....
words 2 put me down~

how can u do tiz ???!!!
ur thinking is sickening me~

graduate C~

leaving 2ndary aka pre-u life @ last~
while chatting n laughing wif frenz 4 the last day~
(the next meeting on 18 nov, we ll nt laugh~ ll b very stress !)
feel kinda sad deep in my heart~
cause these ll nvr happen again~

a classroom where we spent lots of $$ to decorate it~
from tiz~
turning to tiz~
where the colours r gone~
the shadow of us ll nvr appear again~

from tiz~
classmates chatting n walking in the class~
to tiz~
an empty classroom~
n lastly~
keep everything as a memory~
tiz classroom ll soon b cheered up by another group of frenz~
but u can nvr hear our voices again~

memories 2 b cherished~
laughters 2 be missed~
there goes the end~
wishes to all of us~
all the best in our exam~